Do I know how to sell a house?
Absolutely not.
Am I going to make this one impossible to ignore?
Absolutely.
The Home
Designed for modern living and genuine privacy, this multi-level townhouse offers the space of a house with the convenience of low-maintenance living.
3 generously sized bedrooms
3 bathrooms with contemporary finishes
Large private balcony & outdoor terraces with uninterrupted parkland views
Individual street address
Direct private entry, no shared hallways, no apartment feel
Light-filled interiors and thoughtful separation make it ideal for owner-occupiers, professionals, or investors looking for something that actually stands out.
The Lifestyle
This is where it really wins.
Even I can’t mess this part up.
Residents enjoy access to premium facilities rarely found in townhouse living:
Resort-style swimming pool
Sauna
Fully equipped gym
Running track
Steam room
Co working spaces
Private dining rooms
BBQs & fire pit (for a chat)
Cinema
Landscaped parklands and open green spaces
Everything you need, without leaving home.
Why this one’s different
Most properties are marketed quietly.
This one… very much isn’t.
And beneath the jokes is a genuinely high-quality home offering:
Privacy
Space
Lifestyle
And long-term appeal
Final word
This is the house he said I couldn’t sell as the Lorax.
Am I technically qualified to dress like this?
Also no.
But if you’re looking for a modern townhouse with serious lifestyle perks - inspect it before someone else with a sense of humour and good taste does.
